Justin had been on red carpets that hadn't stretched so endlessly.
Casual, he told himself, as he threaded his way around the usual glut of cars parked at JC's house. Just because his heart was pounding and it was hard to breathe and he couldn't remember the last time he'd been this turned on didn't mean he had to act like a bitch in heat.
No one saw him as he slipped into the house. JC had been planning on working when Justin left that morning; Justin headed straight down to the studio, pausing at the door to collect himself. One last deep breath and he opened the door and strolled into the room. JC looked up from where he was sitting at the soundboard and smiled, and all of Justin's hard work melted away. Justin didn't know how, but JC knew. Knew that Justin had spent the whole day thinking about nothing more than coming home, knew that Justin hadn't heard a thing Johnny had said to him all day, knew that all it would take was one word and Justin would be begging for whatever JC would give him.
He crossed the room on suddenly shaky legs. JC's arm snaked out to pull him close, and Justin shivered as JC nuzzled into him.
"Did you think about me today, baby?" JC's fingers dipped below the waistband of Justin's jeans and found the thin silver chain he'd wrapped around Justin that morning.
It took Justin two tries before he could choke out, "Yes," but the rest of his answer was lost in the rush of JC tracing the chain from hip to hip, fingers ghosting over Justin's skin where the silver curved low in the front, so close to where Justin ached to be touched.
"I thought about you, too," JC murmured. "Thought about you wearing this," he tugged lightly and the chain dug into Justin's hip, just a little, just enough to redden the already chafed skin. JC looked up at him. "You did wear it all day, didn't you?" Justin nodded mutely, mesmerized by the possessive glint in the familiar blue eyes. JC smiled, and leaned down to lick a long lazy stripe over the silver, finishing with a slow sucking bite on the tender skin right below Justin's navel. "Good boy."
Justin balled his hands into fists and closed his eyes and concentrated hard on not dropping to the floor and begging to be fucked. The chain was nothing exotic, nothing sexual, just a silly bit of merchandising JC had found in the back of a drawer; cheap, flimsy and probably not even real silver. But JC had been waiting for Justin as he stepped out of the shower that morning, wrapping it around his waist and whispering mineminealwaysmine, think of my hands on you, think of my mouth on you, think of my cock in you every time you feel this on you, and it had been there all day, sliding and twisting with every move he made, settling on his hips, reminding him, never letting him forget.
JC stood up in one smooth motion and pulled Justin's shirt up and over his head at the same time, dropping it as his hands smoothed along Justin's shoulders and arms, tracing carefully over the cross before moving to pinch his nipples to aching hardness. Justin managed to stop the whimper, but it didn't matter. JC knew, looked right at Justin and smiled slowly as his fingers tightened. Justin reached blindly behind himself and held on tight to the soundboard, choking out, "God, C, please," when JC started biting. JC ignored him--or maybe listened to him--and bit down so he could tug sharply. The pleasurepainpleasure spiked white-hot through Justin; he fought hard to stay still under JC but once he opened his mouth, he couldn't quiet the small noises that spilled out of his throat.
This was newly discovered and they hadn't quite figured out how far Justin could be pushed, but this time, JC wasn't backing off and Justin wasn't asking him to. He clawed at the soundboard as the adrenaline ricocheted through him and left him nearly frantic under JC's mouth and hands. When JC finally let go and sucked instead, soft and gentle, Justin half-sobbed as the jagged edges smoothed into a throbbing pleasure.
JC blew softly across skin wet from his mouth, and Justin shuddered. He kept his eyes closed, embarrassed by his reaction, until JC moved closer and rested his head on Justin's shoulder, his breathing harsh and panting.
"Don't, don't hide, please," JC gasped into the curve of Justin's neck. "God, that's, you're so hot like that, so beautiful, I couldn't stop, I'm sorry." He rocked his hips into Justin's, letting Justin feel him, and just knowing that JC was as turned on by this freaky shit as he was...that went a long way toward making things less weird.
Less weird, but no less hot, especially not once JC twisted a finger into a belt loop and whispered in his ear, "Take these off for me."
JC stepped back--to watch, Justin realized, with a sudden rush of heat. It wasn't the first time he'd stripped for JC, but this felt more intimate somehow, as if he wasn't only baring his body. He crouched down to untie his sneakers, grateful for a reason to look away. His fingers were stupid and clumsy, though; he couldn't make them work right. He fumbled with the laces, swearing under his breath until JC's hands were suddenly on his, holding him gently.
"Shhh," JC breathed, and when Justin found the courage to look up, his eyes were right there, beautiful and intense and calming. He took Justin's hands in his own and pressed a kiss to each palm, gentling Justin, calming him, holding on until Justin took a deep, shuddery breath and let the tension in his muscles flow out as he exhaled. JC smiled and let go and Justin's hands flew back to the laces.
This time there was no problem, nothing to get in the way of what Justin wanted just as much as JC did, nothing to slow him down. Justin stood up, toeing off both shoes while he unbuttoned his jeans, and that was all he needed to do, because that was all JC had wanted him to wear that morning. T-shirt, jeans, Air Jordans; all of them were on the floor and Justin wore only the chain.
JC smiled at him, a sharp, hungry, possessive smile; Justin could see nothing calm or gentle in his face now. His eyes moved slowly over every inch of Justin's skin. "I know what you feel like," he said. "How you taste, even how you sound, but I don't get to look at you enough. I don't get to see you like this enough."
He slipped a finger under the chain and pulled until Justin was close enough to feel the heat of his body. "Do you know how much I want you?" he asked, his voice low and rough, so that Justin had to strain to hear him. "Not here," JC continued. "Not this time." He backed toward the door, not letting go of the chain, leading Justin with it.
"C, wait--" Justin said, but JC shook his head.
"Not here," he repeated.
Justin's breath caught as JC opened the door and tugged sharply, pulling Justin behind him. The smooth serpentine links bit into Justin's skin, and he stumbled a little going out into the hall. JC glanced back, but didn't slow down, and Justin followed the pull around his waist.
The back stairs were quiet and dimly lit, and just when Justin thought they might get to wherever JC was taking them without being caught, JC stopped on the top step. Even over the sudden pounding of his heart, Justin could hear voices in the kitchen, just beyond the landing.
JC looked over his shoulder, mouthing, "Quiet," and Justin was about to roll his eyes, because yeah, no shit. Then JC let go of the chain and wrapped his hand around Justin's dick and anything Justin might have said was lost in the struggle to not make a sound.
Justin probably knew whoever was in the kitchen, but their voices were dim and distorted, like everything else that wasn't JC's hand moving slowly over his dick, thumb rubbing roughly across the head, not quite enough to be getting him off, but more than enough to remind Justin who was making the decisions.
It went on, and on, and on; each careful, twisting stroke stripping Justin of another layer of control, until just before he broke, just before the gasping breaths he could muffle in his fists turned to begging words, JC turned away and started moving again.
This time, though, he didn't bother with the chain, just tightened his fist around Justin's dick and led him that way, up the last flight of stairs and along the hallway to the big master suite, and maybe Justin should have expected it, but he hadn't, and the shock pounded through his body, churned with the lust and the need and the humiliation of liking it so very much, until he couldn't breathe from knowing that he'd do anything, anything JC wanted.
JC took him past the sitting area, past the bed, and Justin knew that they were going to the floor-to-ceiling mirror by the closet. JC led him right up to it, drawing him so close that Justin couldn't not look at himself, not unless he closed his eyes.
"I thought about this all day, baby," JC murmured, his breath light and hot in Justin's ear as he stepped back to stand behind Justin. "How I wanted this to be, what would make you insane." His arm curved around Justin's waist, his hand tracing long smooth lines over Justin's skin. "I'd like that," he whispered. "You, out of your mind because of me."
Justin shivered at the tone. JC was dead serious, and he always got what he wanted when he was like that.
JC smiled at his reaction. "I know how much you like getting on your hands and knees for me," he said, biting quick and sharp at the curve of Justin's neck and shoulder. "I like it, too." Justin nodded; he knew, God, how he knew how much JC loved fucking him like that.
"That's what we're going to do," JC continued, that same low, rough voice sliding deep into Justin to coil, silky and hot, deep in his belly. "Right here, so I can see you the whole time, watch you beg for it."
Justin moved restlessly and JC immediately dropped his hand to twist a finger through the tiny bit of slack in the silver chain, pulling it tight until Justin stilled, and then tighter still. It didn't hurt, really, but Justin still moaned softly.
"Oh, J," JC murmured, untangling his hand from the chain. "You're so much fun to play with." He teased Justin with fingers that danced along the length of his dick, skimmed over his balls, never touching anywhere long enough, hard enough, and then laughed softly as Justin hissed and swore.
"That drives you crazy, doesn't it?" JC said, still smiling, and Justin should have been warned by the smile alone. "You like this," JC whispered as the whisper-light touch slid up his belly and ribs, over his still-throbbing nipples, morphing into a not-quite-cruel twisting pinch. "You'd much rather I did that."
"Yeah," Justin managed to gasp over the adrenaline slamming into his system. "Fuck, yeah." Remembering the desire, thick and rough, in JC's voice when he'd asked Justin not to hide from him helped him keep his eyes open, and fuck if seeing JC's reaction wasn't worth the hot wave of embarrassment.
"Tell me," JC said, growling a little when Justin shook his head. "Yes. Tell me."
"Hurts," Justin whispered, then whimpered when JC pinched harder, twisted tighter. "God, you, that hurts, C."
"Do you want me to stop?"
JC's eyes were locked on his, the blue darker than usual in the mirror. Justin couldn't look away; JC could see into him, see everything when Justin answered him. "No," he groaned. "Please."
"I wasn't thinking," JC said, whispering low and intimate into Justin's ear. "I should have bought some clamps." Justin shuddered at the thought. "You'd like that, I know you would, J. Can you imagine how it would feel, the metal so cold against your skin at first, until it could take some of your warmth." He was pressed up close behind Justin, mouth moving restlessly over Justin's ear and throat, hands never stopping their torment.
"Have you ever worn them, Justin?"
"N-no," Justin stuttered, unable to pull enough air into his lungs.
"I have, baby," JC murmured, and smiled when Justin looked at his reflection with shock. "They'd be so good, make you feel so much more than I can."
Justin couldn't tear his eyes away from their reflection, from JC's hands moving over him, from the strength in JC's eyes, from the need in them. He eased back until he could lean on JC, pressed close against the soft, worn cotton of the old T-shirt and jeans JC wore.
"You," Justin panted, and bit his lip to stop the groan at the sharp, sparking pain that JC was giving him. "God, you want to fuck me, don't you."
JC dropped his head to mouth along the curve of Justin's neck, but not before Justin saw the desire spike in his eyes, and when Justin shifted his hips, ground back against JC, he could feel the sudden sharp intake of breath.
"You want me now, here, like you said."
JC broke away with a shuddering gasp, pulling his shirt roughly over his head and stumbling across the room to where he kept the condoms and lube. Justin watched him in the mirror, and when JC finally turned around and started back toward him, Justin smiled a little and then deliberately traced the chain he still wore around his hips. The silver was blood-warm against his skin and he smiled at the low, raw noise JC made. Just as deliberately, he slid his hands up to brush over his tender nipples, hissing at even the barest contact; touching, teasing, hurting himself again and again just to see JC's reaction.
"Don't stop," JC said, pressing close to him again, hand sliding down his spine. Justin gasped at contrast of the jagged heat spiking out from his own fingers and the cool slickness of JC's hand fucking smoothly into him.
"So good," Justin moaned. "More, please."
"No matter how much I get," JC said. "It'll never be enough. Never." His voice was low, scared, and that should have scared Justin, but it didn't. He knew, he understood; it was the same with him. He just hadn't known it about JC, not for sure, even though he knew JC, knew that the more something meant to him, the tighter inside he kept it.
They stood together, JC's free arm looped around Justin's waist, until Justin shook with need and JC's eyes mirrored everything Justin felt. JC held him upright for one last kiss that left Justin's head spinning before murmuring, "Now, baby."
It felt so good to finally be eased down to his hands and knees, to watch JC kneel behind him. Strong legs pressed his thighs apart until he was spread wide, open and vulnerable, there for JC's pleasure, and he loved it. He loved the way JC leaned close to drop kisses and bites along his shoulders, loved the way JC palmed his hips, the way his hands slid over Justin's skin, rolling the chain as he stroked up and down. He loved the way JC was taking his time, starting slow, the head of his cock just barely in Justin, stretching him, teasing him with the promise of what Justin knew was coming.
He loved the way JC let him see everything he was feeling, and he especially loved that he could let JC see everything he was feeling. Something had changed inside him, something had broken free, and he wasn't afraid to show JC anything, he wanted to show him everything, because that was another thing he'd forgotten. The more something meant to JC, the less he trusted words, the more he needed to see and feel.
Justin kept his head up and locked his eyes on JC's in the mirror and didn't hide anything, not when JC's hands tightened on his hips, not when JC spread his legs further apart, not when JC rocked deeper into him, every shift of his hips slow and calculated, an endless tease that left Justin breathless and begging. Justin let JC see everything, until JC was buried in him and let go of his hips to lie atop Justin, his breath hot and stuttering across the skin high on Justin's back.
Then Justin turned his head and let JC see him for real, not a reflection, but him. He met JC's mouth with his own in a tight, hard kiss. JC shivered against him, in him, an almost delicate shudder, and Justin's breath caught in his throat. JC kissed him again, more slowly this time, a promise rather than a demand, and it was Justin's turn to shiver, and then moan, as JC broke the kiss and left a trail of quick bites and licks down Justin's back.
His hands were firm on Justin's hips, sliding under the chain this time, pulling it taut across Justin's belly and over his spine, angling Justin exactly how JC wanted him, holding him firmly in place as he began to move.
"Like this," JC murmured. "Just like this, don't move," and oh, fuck, fuck, Justin thought, unsteadily. This was it, he was never going to live through this, not with every thrust hitting him dead-on perfect, every single one right there, again and again. No matter how fucking good it felt, Justin couldn't come like this, and JC knew it, knew it and wasn't doing anything but holding Justin down and fucking him.
"Yes," JC hissed. "God, yes, I love you like this, you, how you just take it."
The need twisted through Justin, burning hotter every time JC pushed into him, clawing sharp and ragged at his control. He moaned JC's name, not needing JC's breathless laugh to know how much JC liked hearing him. Here, now, whatever JC liked, Justin liked, too, and God, JC liked this, pulling Justin's hips higher, pushing his legs wider and Jesus, Justin hadn't thought this could get any better, but he'd been so wrong. JC was fucking into him deeper and harder, and now he was begging for it, wailing and pleading with JC to fuckingtouchmeplease, and it didn't matter at all. JC didn't pay any attention to anything, just fucked Justin the way he wanted, fast, then slow, and then fast again, but always fierce and sure, until all Justin knew was JC, buried deep in him, one hand tangled in the chain he'd claimed Justin with, the other finally, finally reaching for Justin's cock, stripping hard and fast, deliberately too rough, too harsh, so that the edge of pain kept Justin from coming just that much longer, until every cell understood that he belonged to JC, until JC looked in Justin's eyes and saw that he knew, and smiled, triumphant and possessive.
"Come for me, baby," JC demanded. "Give it to me, let it go, now, right now," and Justin did, threw himself into the blinding spiral of desire and want and energy and need ripping through him, over him, drowning him, battering him with sensations, and just when he felt he'd never find his way back, the chain tightened around him, biting into him, reminding him JC was with him. Over the roar of his pulse, the harsh rasp of his own breath, he heard JC's voice, heard it break on Justin's name, felt hard muscles tense against him. The chain cut into him one last time before it broke, and he lifted his head to look in the mirror and watch JC come apart.
His breath sobbed through him, deep shuddering gasps that still didn't give him enough oxygen, and his arms gave way, and then his legs. JC came down with him, covering him, sheltering him, whispering Justinjustinjustin. They lay together for endless minutes, JC's breath feathering his skin, JC's heart solid and sure against his back.
He cried out when JC pulled out of him, shuddered from the loss. JC smoothed hands down his back, murmuring, "Roll over, baby." Justin whimpered in protest, and JC's hands slid to his hips, urging him over. "C'mon, J, I want to see you."
Justin whimpered again, even as he moved the way JC wanted him, rolling onto his back, shivering and shaking and throwing an arm across his face.
"Come back, baby," JC coaxed, trailing long, slow patterns over Justin's hips and thighs.
The adrenaline was gone, and the excitement and the need, and Justin wasn't sure he could find the place where he'd wanted JC to see everything again.
"We don't have to do this again," JC said, tracing feather-light over skin irritated and tender from the chain. "Not if you didn't like it."
Justin hissed involuntarily and JC's hand stilled. "I think we both know how much I liked it," Justin said, noticing for the first time how dry his throat and mouth were, how hoarse his voice sounded.
"If you can't look at me after, I don't give a fuck how hard we come," JC answered, and the fear was back in his voice. Fear and self-doubt and it didn't matter how fucking much Justin wanted to hide.
"I can," he said, dropping his arm, and finding JC's eyes. "I can, see?" He covered JC's hand with his own, both resting on the sore place on his hip. "I'm just..." He reached with his other hand and found the slender chain under him. He shifted his weight a little, so he could pull it free. It laid in his hand, deceptively innocent.
"Freaked," JC finished for him.
"Yeah, a little," Justin said. There was no use lying about it; JC could read him better than he could himself sometimes. "Okay, more than a little."
"I thought it would be fun, a game, but..." JC's voice trailed off before he repeated, more firmly, "We don't have to do it again."
Justin knew what his answer to that was, but it took a long time to figure out the words. Finally, he just said, "What if I want to?" He wrapped JC's fingers in his own. "What," he whispered, and then had to swallow hard. He made himself keep his eyes on JC's. "What if I liked. Wearing it?"
JC looked at him, looked into him and said, "It would be okay." The subtle tension around his eyes relaxed, and once again, Justin was glad he'd been able to keep from hiding. JC leaned down and brushed his lips over Justin's. "Whatever you want, J," he said, not moving away.
The last of the adrenaline and tension trickled out of Justin's muscles and he leaned up into JC's kiss. JC took the hint, licking deep into Justin's mouth, before biting down gently on his lower lip.
Justin shivered at the promise.