In the elegant chamber of Miao Yin Ge, I sit in front of the small window, looking down at the stage below, singing the 'performer' who is going alone to the enemy's capital to gather information, with a look of obscurity in my eyes.
The ragged clown crawled forward, occasionally looking up, with thick layers of paint on his face.
I can't see the real face clearly, but those eyes shining like stars, broke into my eyes and hit my heart.
At the curtain call, standing with other actors, she appeared particularly delicate and petite, evoking an unconscious desire to protect her.
It's her.
In the past life, that person made Zhan Yunqing disregard all etiquette and manners, squandering the Marquis's reputation, just to separate from the girl and me.
When she returned to the backstage, she jumped twice, and was softly reprimanded by the senior brother next to her. She didn't get angry, but instead stuck out her tongue, showing her playfulness.
"Madam, madam, are you all right?" A melodious voice, as sweet as a nightingale, sounded.
I came to my senses and looked at the girl in front of me, who was full of worry, and shook my head lightly.
"Madam, the Lord of the Pavilion said you wanted to see me. Is there something you need?"
She came over after removing her makeup, wearing a bright goose-yellow ruqun, with a face as smooth and tender as tofu.
A bright smile on the face, lively and innocent, not worried at all that something might happen when coming to see me.
I lightly pursed my lips, speaking in a dignified and proper manner: "The snippet you sang was very good, I'd like to meet you."
得到认可，小姑娘羞赧一笑，很快担心地看着我：“如果夫人没什么事情，就尽快离开吧。”
I raised my head slightly, lifting the gauze curtain of the canopy.
“The lady in the elegant chamber still wore a veil, indicating that the household was managed quite strictly.”
"Although those who come to the Miao Yin Pavilion all have status and should not do anything disgraceful, losing face, but not afraid of ten thousand, just afraid of one..."
Her words are all for my sake, and her pretty little face is full of worries.
I glanced lightly at the freshly served dim sum on the table, got up and said, 'Thank you for reminding me.'
Her small face immediately lit up with a bright smile, eagerly leading the way ahead: "Madam, let me escort you out."
After leaving the back door of the Miao Yin Pavilion, I got on a particularly simple and unadorned carriage that was waiting on the side.
When I lifted the carriage curtain with my bare hands, I glanced back at the little girl standing by the door.
Her smile is still bright and dazzling, and her expression is particularly sincere and earnest.
I got into the carriage and said lightly, "Let's go back."
The carriage moved steadily forward.
I took off my headdress and placed it in the hands of my maid Gan Tang, who looked hesitant, and sat up straight, gazing ahead.
Seemingly calm, but the heart has already set off layers of ripples.
I lower my eyelashes slightly, suppress the bitterness in my heart, and curl my lips with a self-deprecating smile.
It's a bit funny, isn't it?
At the first moment of my rebirth, I hurriedly ran to the Miao Yin Pavilion, hoping to try my luck and see if I could meet her.
I really want to know, the man I have loved for six years, who has taken care of every detail, what kind of girl has warmed his cold heart.
In my previous life, I only secretly saw the portrait painted by Zhan Yunqing in his study.
I never thought that Zhan Yunqing, a military general, would have such patience.
He painted her vividly, lively, and full of vitality, so much so that one could feel the strong life force just by looking at it.
Youth, vitality, kindness, playfulness, unrestrained...
It's his exhibition that is on display, and it's what I saw today.
Like two peas in a pod.
Unfortunately, the young girl is just a merchant's daughter, and being with Zhan Yunqing is like heaven and earth.
Until she left the alley of Miaoyin Pavilion and walked into the bustling market, Gantang couldn't hold it in anymore.
"Madam, tomorrow is the day when the Hou Mansion goes to the temple to pray for Lord Hou's blessings. Aren't you making preparations?
I glanced lightly at Gantang, but there was a hint of confusion in my heart.
That's right.
I have been married to Jan Yunqing for four years.
Every year at this time, I am preparing to go up the mountain to pray for the blessings, asking the Buddha to bless Zhan Yunqing for a safe and smooth journey at the border.
To show my sincerity, I will climb more than a thousand steps on foot, without resting, and kneel in front of the Buddha, praying devoutly.
And then, I will eat vegetarian food and chant Buddha's name in the temple for one hour.
However, when I married him, I was just past the age of fifteen, and I began to take care of all the affairs of the mansion.
“No need to prepare.” My tone was somewhat cold as I pressed the throbbing tip of my brow.
Gantang was shocked and puzzled, as if I had done something extraordinary.
But why though.
In my previous life, I exhausted all my efforts and poured my heart and soul into loving Zhan Yunqing.
However, in the end, I ended up bringing disaster upon my family and died a tragic death, with my body being eaten by wild dogs.
The carriage stopped in front of the Marquis's mansion.
I had just stood still when the maid Gan Ye hurried over and whispered, 'Madam, the Marquis has returned.'
I was stunned for a moment, made a soft 'hmm' sound, and concealed the complexity in my eyes.
Every year from May to September, Zhan Yunqing will stay in Shengjing City.
But he usually reports to the palace or patrols the city. He rarely spends time at home. You can count the number of times on one hand. Why did he suddenly come back today?
In my mind, the scenes from the past kept playing over and over. I thought that when I saw Zhan Yunqing, I would want to pounce on him, gnaw on his bones, drink his blood, and demand to know why he treated me and my family that way.
When I saw him sitting by the window, looking sideways at the begonias in the courtyard, I suddenly realized that I didn't have the right to hate him.
In the past life, Zhan Yunqing proposed a divorce to me, assuring me that he would take all the responsibility upon himself as long as I agreed.
At the same time, I will report to the emperor, using the marquis's mansion as a guarantee, to fight for an edict that will ensure a worry-free and slander-free life for me in the future.
But I'm not willing to accept it.
When I first fell in love with him, I poured out all my heart and soul for him, treating him like the center of my world, following the rules and regulations, and working hard for him, but I couldn't even get a glance from him.
However, a concubine's daughter managed to break his principle of hating concubines in just six months. He even fell in love with her and was willing to do anything to obtain her, at any cost and by any means.
Finally, I used all the means and conspiracies I learned on him!
I lost.
A complete defeat.
No possibility of turning over again.
Now, while nothing has happened yet, I don't want to repeat the same mistakes and fall into decadence again.
“What are you staring at?” A deep voice sounded, with a hint of indifference.
He didn't know when he stood under the eaves of the upper house corridor.
A black brocade robe draped over his tall and slender figure, and his calm gaze revealed no emotion.
On the wedding night, before Zhan Yunqing unveiled my bridal veil, he bluntly told me that our two families were only forming an alliance, and that I should not harbor any feelings for him or have any expectations.
As long as I am still the lady of the Marquis Mansion, and take care of everything in the mansion, then he will treat me well.
It's a pity......
I lower my eyes and walk around him, entering the room: "It's nothing, this lady needs to change clothes. Lord Hou, please wait outside."
As soon as the words were spoken, I didn't wait for his response and just closed the door.
When the door was completely closed, I clearly saw a hint of surprise on Zhan Yunqing's face.
In the past, I couldn't wait for Zhan Yunqing to be more intimate, but for the first time, he naturally broadened his horizons by keeping him at arm's length.
Standing in front of the wardrobe, I looked at the dignified and dull dresses inside, and suddenly pictured a girl in a bright yellow outfit in my mind.
She is full of vitality, like a little sun, while I am like an old woman in declining years, full of gloom.
I suddenly felt the urge to throw all the clothes out of the wardrobe.
Fortunately, while searching, I saw a red skirt.
"Why are you dressed like this?" I opened the door, and Zhan Yunqing happened to turn around and saw me wearing a bright red jacket, looking surprised.
I angrily said, "Wear it, love wearing it, and be willing to wear it to death."
Zhān yúnqīng wúyǔ níng yē, bàn shǎng tǔ chū yī jù huà: “Nǐ míng rì bùshì yào shàng shān dào sìmiào lǐ qiú píng'ān?”
I sat on the huanghuali chair, my eyes lightly passing over Zhan Yunqing, and said calmly, "Anyway, no one cares, so it doesn't matter if I don't go."
Jan's deep and mysterious eyes showed a hint of indifference as he said with a faint smile, 'I told you earlier, there's no need to do those meaningless things. It's your choice, so who can you blame.'
A surge of anger rose in my heart, and I almost couldn't hold back from cursing out loud.
This being the case, it's all my own fault for being overly sentimental, taking matters into my own hands, and making a mess of things!
I gritted my teeth and suppressed the rising anger in my heart, but caught a glimpse of my emaciated body.
In an instant, the anger subsided, and a wave of desolation spread through the limbs and bones.
I manage the Marquis's mansion, and all the goldfish in the small pond in the mansion are well-fed and plump.
Only I, the noble lady of the Marquis's mansion, am as thin as a skeleton, and yet I cannot find half an ounce of flesh on my body.
Unlike that girl, she is slender but shapely, and proud in all the right places.
The slender waist that she gently held, even as a woman myself, I couldn't help but want to wrap my arms around her waist, feeling her tightness and shyness.
We can't go on like this anymore.
I took a deep breath and looked at Zhan Yunqing: "Houye, let's part ways!"